Who is the man that makes me feel things exactly?

I want to say it right.

When I was a kid, I went to the theatre a lot. Mom found a deal…where a theatre would show get this: 2-3 year old movies. Washed out washed up movies. You got a soda and some popcorn but it, the popcorn, always tasted like the cardboard box around it.

Once they were going to show Black Beauty. It was going to be better than the previous week’s “Little Vampire”. When we drove to that theatre it felt like driving to see Black Beauty.

When he wasn’t there, I stood on my chair. When the lady with the undulating voice told me to sit down I went to look at the tiles in the bathroom. They were the same green you always see.

What I mean to say is that….

Sometimes I would leave Smarties out for either Jesus or you. You were both close.

But I couldn’t see you. Who is the man that makes me feel things exactly? Where are his hands and is their space for me? I thought that you could hold on to me holding myself together. If I could find you.

I mean…..I mean….I mean that I saw you sleeping at the Grand Canyon. But only your spindles. And the good acts of men have shown me your backbone and when I came out those theatres walking as what the hour and a half was about I felt your footsteps.

But you never stay long enough, and only in my stomach. When life feels like living you’re there. And it is then that I look down and inside myself and I see you there. I see the top of your head and a glance of your elbow as you stir soup there. I’ve put you through long winters.

I mean…. I mean that he’s in the moments that feel like moments. I mean that he’s in staring out the window too long. In the chairs if you’ll just stand on them, in the runt of the liter stuck in the bag that doesn’t get tossed in the lake. In the words said right and the souls that sing for the other and the pretty violin that sounds like.

I’ve seen his ears, and heard his heart. Seen the back of his neck walking away. To know that face, reach out, hold onto it…. close.

I mean to say—don’t tell me. Don’t tell me how.

Heroes Journey (tons of times)

I might add that this will be very straight-forward seeing as it is 1:08, so no delights in here really. I added it.

Hero: Chief Bromden

Call to Adventure: When Randle McMurphy comes to the ward. His apperance sets everything to all chaos and nurse Ratched is cogging around furious. His example calls Bromded to follow it.

Refusal of the Call: At the start of it all, Bromden has gone without talking for so long that he is about 12 inches tall and whispery in his soul by now. So. At first, he doesn't retaliate as McMurphy does, and he refuses to speak, even when asked directly by McMpurhy to do so. McMurphy knows his secret from the get-go: that Bromden can. (speak)

Meeting the Mentor: Well. The mentor is also McMurphy. McMurphy gives him confidence, insight, motivation, and works to make him 20 feet tall again (kind of like his own magical gift).

Crossing the Threshold: This happens several times. I'd say maybe the intially crossing...probably when McMurphy gets Bromden to raise his hand to vote to have T.V. time changed. This forces Bromden to acknowledge that his mind works and that he's been listening to what all the doctors have said these many years. It marks him as one of the resisters.

Tests. Allies, Enemies:  So many. Bromden and McMurphy slowly turn patients from spies and rabbits to allies and men. They develop a system or resistance. They create a world that is seperate from Ratched and they learn how to live in it.

Approach to the Inmost Cave: They go on the fishing trip, and they have the huge party with the hookers right in the ward.

The Ordeal:  When Bromden and McMurphy decide to stand up for George and beat up the men who are being cruel toward him. That is the ordeal. Because they get sent to "disturbed", which is the violent mental ward a level above the one they are in. This brings electro-shock therapy....which Bromden is able to come out of. McMurphy is not.

Reward: The reward Bromden gets is realization that he can beat "them". The Combine.

The Road Back: It is hard for Bromden to return back, and now that McMurphy's brains have been scrambled and fried up like eggs, everyone looks to him to be the leader but Bromden isn't content with just staying in this world of a ward anymore.

The Resurrection: Bromden realizes that the rebellion was possible through McMurphy's love for the residents, “making him wink and grin and laugh and go on with his act long after his humor had been parched dry between two electrodes.” He realizes that McMurphy wouldn't wanna be a veggie so he suffocates him, rips the control pannel out of the floor, throws in through the window and runs from the ward. Literally, he experiences ending life, and moving on to a new phase of life...and he re-enters the actual ordinary world.

Return with the Elixir: Bromden learned how to overcome his problems, and he learned how to help others no fall captive to the COMBINE. He is not broken up anymore, and joins the world again capable and deserving.